Solitude & Sunsets

Tonight was a night that in the past would have triggered my insecurities full force. The boys who live in the children's home next door always have soccer games on Wednesday nights and I usually go to watch them play. Little did I know that my entire house was planning on going to cheer them on - I remained unaware of this fact until I received a phone call from the house dad informing me that they had all left and were sorry that they had forgotten me. Right before I started to relapse into insecurity, I looked out my window to see the most gorgeous sunset I've ever seen while being in Mexico - vibrant reds, oranges, and yellow filled the sky. I have always loved sunsets because they sing of God's creativity; I feel a special connection to God whenever I see one. Tonight, that sunset was His gift to me - letting me know that I am not forgotten, that He always sees me.
I decided to make the most of being left home alone and took the opportunity to sit outside on the roof, taking in the beauty of the sunset. As I sat there on the roof, all I could think about was how faithful God is, how He makes beauty out of the mess of our lives. Sometimes I wonder about the future, about where I will live, who I will marry, what I will do ... It can get kind of overwhelming. But tonight, I realized how God has put together the pieces of my life into something beautiful. Looking back, I can see His hand in decisions I've made, experiences I've had, all the various things that have led me here to Ninos de Mexico. The list is actually quite long. Whenever I get scared about the future, all I have to do is look at how He was working in the past. I trust Him to work the same way in the present and in the future. I'm excited to see how my list of His faithfulness in my life grows over the years, confident that He will continue to make a masterpiece.